Something Real
by TALK HARD
Summary: A long Jemma. For the first time in their lives, Jay and Emma are going to experience 'Something Real'. But in order to fall in love, and stay in love, they must undergo some good old Degrassi drama.
1. The Freshman

**A.N:** Here goes my attempt at a Jemma! I hope you guys enjoy it. I will try to update a chapter a day, but I can't make any promises! Reviews are appreciated but not necessary in order for me to post.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Not Degrassi and not the song 'The Freshman' originally by Verve Pipe, but the version I like is by Mustard Plug!

**When I was young I knew everything**

**She a punk who rarely ever took advice**

**Now I'm guilt-stricken sobbing with my head on the floor**

**Stop a baby's breath with a shoe full of rice now**

Jay Hogart put his signature black hat on and started to walk down the hall of Degrassi Community School.

_So much has happened here. It's only one fucking high school how does THAT much shit happen? Michaelbitch getting raped; Ashley doing E and making out with Bam Bam, man I wish I could have seen the look on Greenpeace's face when that happened; Manny getting pregnant with Craig's baby and getting an abortion while he didn't give a shit about her feelings; Rick bringing in a gun and shooting Jimmy because of what Spin and I did; Rick getting shot; Ellie slashing her wrists out; Amy giving me gonorrhea and me giving it to Alex and Nature Freak, yeah not my proudest moment, but I apologized. It's not my fault Cause Girl won't get over it. I mean –_

"What the fuck?" Jay questioned as he walked into someone. _Who would be so stupid to not walk out of my way._

"Oh Jay.. I'm sorry. Sorry" Emma said, looking very pale.

**Can't be held responsible**

**She was touching her face**

**I won't be held responsible**

**She fell in love in the first place**

"Well don't let it happen again, Princess. God forbid daddy sees you running into the big bad Jay Hogart", Jay snorted. _What the fuck? Since when does Emma 'Let's save the whole world' Nelson apologize for something I did? And why does she look like a ghost? Man, she's pale. Whatever, Casper the environmentally friendly ghost probably just stopped tanning due to some environmental bullshit._

**For the life of me**

**I cannot remember **

**What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise**

**For the life of me**

**I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins**

**We were merely freshmen**

CRASH.

"What the hell?" Jay said, turning his head just in time to see Emma Nelson crash to the ground in the middle of the hallway, more importantly, right in front of him. He tried to get her to wake up by nudging her with his foot, but nothing. People started to crowd around and stare at the tiny blond sprawled out on the hallway floor.

"Get Simpson!" Jimmy Brooks, the one and only 'star basketball player', screamed.

"Nelson!.. Jesus" Jay mumbled while hurling Emma over his shoulder and walking to the nurse. _Great, there goes my reputation,_ Jay thought as he saw Alex and Amy looking at him strangely.

**My best friend took a week's vacation to forget her**

**His girl took a week's worth of Valium and slept**

**Now he's guilt stricken sobbing with his head on the floor**

**Thinks about her now and how he never really wept**

**-x-**

Emma Nelson awoke to a strange sight… the nurse and Jay Hogart staring at her.

"What happened" Emma shrieked while sitting up and holding her head, her big brown eyes looking up at Jay, searching for an answer, reminding Jay of a lost puppy.

"Emma honey, you fainted" The nurse began, "Do you know what might have caused this?"

Emma brought her arms up to her shoulders, as if giving herself a hug, some sort of protection. "Um, no, I really don't know what. Maybe I have a fever or something. Actually, now that I think of it Mr. Armstrong's room was incredibly hot today…" Emma droned on.

**Can't be held responsible**

**She was touching her face**

**I won't be held responsible**

**She fell in love in the first place**

"Can I just go? Class may suck but wasting my time in the nurses office just may suck even more" Jay interrupted.

The nurse placed an arm on his shoulder and replied, "Yes, thank you Jayson. Let me give you a pass"

Jay, not one to care about having a hall pass, started to walk out the door, but turned around to say, "Greenpeace, take care of yourself instead of the environment for once", which Emma felt in some sick, twisted way was concern… that or just another insult from Jayson Hogart, one could never be too sure.

_What just happened? All I can remember is … Peter. What did Peter do?_

_**For the life of me**_

_**I cannot remember**_

_**What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise**_

_**For the life of me**_

_**I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins**_

_**We were merely freshmen**_

Flashback:

"It's over Emma. I met someone else at a party. She cares more about me than herself and the stupid environment! You are a prude, selfish bitch who will only give head to scum like Jay Hogart. Have a nice fucking life, Em" Peter screamed at Emma in front of the whole second floor hallway.

Emma grabbed her books and ran, this feeling in her stomach was intensifying by the minute. It wasn't because of Peter, she really didn't care about him, just another replacement; it was because she didn't eat anything for nearly four days. Emma ran through the hall and Jay Hogart, who was in a daze, walked into her. Or did she walk into him? His face looked angry… but at the same time, appealing? She apologized and –

End of Flashback

**We tried to wash our hands of all of this**

**And never talk of our lacking relationships**

**Or how we're guilt stricken sobbing with our heads on the floor**

**We fell through the ice when we tried not to slip, we'd say**

**Can't be held responsible**

**She was touching her face**

**I won't be held responsible**

**She fell in love in the first place**

"Oh Miss C., really I'm fine, I must have stood up to fast or something. I can go back to class" Emma pleaded.

"Well, okay Ms. Nelson, but I will be keeping an eye on you!" Miss C. screamed to the sprinting Emma.

_Great, another person to watch over me, _Emma thought. _Like Snake, Mom, Manny, Toby, J.T., and Liberty aren't enough._

**For the life of me**

**I cannot remember**

**What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise**

**For the life of me**

**I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins**

**We were merely freshmen**


	2. Moon Over Marin

* * *

A.N: The song choice may seem a little odd at first, but bear with me. I'm trying to get across the idea of Emma and Jay. So what better than a punk song about the environment? Haha :)

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Degrassi, or the song 'Moon Over Marin' by Dead Kennedy's.

* * *

"Emma can you please, just for like once, go to the party with me. I mean you're supposed to be my best friend!" Manny Santos whined to her best friend and roommate. Manny wanted to go to 'The biggest party of the century' as the flyer described. It was a Lakehurst and Degrassi party that Mia and Manny thought would be a great opportunity for Emma to meet a new guy.

"Manny, like I don't have better things to do than go to some stupid party with a bunch of people we don't know and can't stand? If I wanted to dry hump some guy I hated I could just invite Peter over" Emma replied, nonchalantly while flipping through the latest teen magazine.

**The crowded future stings my eyes**

**I still find time to exercise**

**In a uniform with two white stripes**

**Unlock my section of the sand**

**It's fenced off to the waters edge**

**I clamp a gas mask on my head**

Manny sat down on their bed, ever since Manny's father found out about her skipping school to go to an audition for a pretty-close-to-pornographic movie, Manny moved back in. "Em, is this about Peter? So what? He's nothing special. You need to have some fun. Things happen. You're so uptight all the time, the last time you were ever wild was when you and J-… forget it, I'll find someone else to go, maybe Darcy will stop her crusading for one night"

**On the beach at night**

**Bathe in my moonlight**

Manny knew the Jay Hogart area was sensitive to Emma, especially after the gonorrhea outbreak. It was best to leave certain things alone. _I know she had feelings for Jay, no matter what she chooses to say, but come on, she needs to let loose for once. She can be so much fun, but then again… so boring. Peter did just dump her publicly and she did faint, so I guess I'm just being insensitive. _

"Manny, I know what you're thinking and I'm not agreeing because of that, BUT, I guess I could make an appearance" Emma giggled.

"You wanted to go the whole time didn't you, Cause Girl?" Manny smirked.

"You're gonna get it!" Emma shrieked, smacking Manny with her pillow. The girls burst out laughing.

"Emma, Manny, dinner is ready" Spike said interrupting the two girls.

**Another tanker's hit the rocks**

**Abandoned to spill out its guts**

**The sand is laced with sticky glops**

Emma walked upstairs to get some Tofurkey, a family favorite. _What am I going to wear to this party? I mean, my clothes are starting to become a little loose since this diet and all. I need to go to the mall. Oh no, I think my mom just noticed me pushing my food around. _

"Emma, is everything alright honey? You've barley touched your Tofurkey" Spike asked concerned.

"Actually, I was just thinking that I need some new clothes. I'm gonna run to the mall, I'll just catch something at the food court. Manny are you coming?"

"Mall? Say no more!" Manny jumped up grabbing her coat, "see you guys later!"

**O'Shimmering moonlight sheen upon**

**The waves and water clogged with oil**

**White gassed steam up from the soil**

**On my beach at night**

**Bathe in my moonlight**

x

Emma and Manny walked around the mall, Emma didn't want to go to her usual stores because they were just reminders of her weight, seeing all those sizes.

"Manny, can we go to Hot Topic"

"Are you planning on turning into Nunez? Because she's a lesbian, and I don't want to disappoint you; I mean, Em, we're pretty close, but I just can't imagine kissing you. Although you must be pretty good if you've had so many guys want you…"

Emma chuckled, "Shut up Santos. I just want something different. Not too drastic"

Emma grabbed Manny and they walked into the store, approaching the band tee wall. _Hmm, I really like the Ramones, Snake and Joey got me their records, pretty good. The Beatles are a classic but… too overrated. Marilyn Manson, a little too scary for me. System of a Down… I have to start off a small, but I like their views. _That's when Emma saw it, a shirt saying "There will always be a moon over Marin" with the Dead Kennedys written on the back. _Perfect! A band t showing a political environmental song, what more could I ask for?_

**I squash dead fish between my toes**

**Try not to step on any bones**

**I turn around and I go home**

"Em who are the Dead Kennedys? And like, how do you know them?" Manny asked making a strange face.

"Manny, they're a really good punk band. Joey and Snake were listening to the record a year ago and I wanted to know what their one song was about, so I looked it up. It was saving the environment and how some people try to act like it will always be there"

"Oh.. well, can you hurry up, I really want to go to Hollister" Manny whined while the girls walked up to the register. Emma decided on the skinny grey ones.

"Ooohh, Hollister" the guy at the register joked with Emma.

"God forbid, you can't find another washcloth.. I mean, skirt, Manuela" Emma said laughing.

Manny made a sour face, but then decided Emma made the comment out of love and just laughed along with her.

"Oh, Dead Kennedys, mad cool" The worker said.

**I slip back through my basement door**

**Switch off all that I own below**

**Dive in my scalding wooden tub**

**My own beach at night**

**Electric moonlight**

Meanwhile..

"JAYSUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN" Paige seemed to say, more like screamed.

"What? God! For two lesbians, you sure are annoying" Jay smirked, "please can we just go in Hot Topic, I went everywhere you wanted to go"

"No you actually sat outside, Hon" Paige retorted

"Come on, Paige, take one for the team" Alex replied, eager to check out some of the new styles herself.

Jay started to walk to the store…_ is that Nelson? Greenpeace? Cause girl? In MY store. _Hot topic was his place, his sanctuary if you will, besides the auto shop and the ravine.

"Care to tell me what you're doing in this wonderful store, Princess" Jay snorted to Emma

"You don't own the world, Jay" Emma replied.

"Well the way you shove your environment shit in my face you'd think I did"

"God! I don't target you specifically, my life has meaning. I have better things to do then waste my time trying to get people like you to actually help make a difference in this world!" Emma steamed.

"This is the thanks I get for helping you huh?" Jay asked.

"Well, as a matter of fact, I was going to thank you before you decided to play the role of the Supreme Asshole. Now if you excuse me, I must be leaving. There's a party to attend tonight, and I wouldn't want to miss any good flirting opportunities because I was talking to you."

_She's such a bitch. I was planning on skipping that party, but now there's no way. I'm going to make sure Emma has a horrible time._

**There will always be a moon over Marin**


	3. AntiPop

**A.N: **Wow! I'm excited to see people actually reading this, I guess it's kind of suprising! Here goes nothing.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. 'Anti-Pop' is by Matthew Good Band, if you're Canadian (which I'm not, yet) then you might know them, of course now its Matthew Good, but enough with the rambling..

* * *

**Let's get the party started**

**All born to stay up late**

**No one gets out of this one**

**No one gets out of this**

Emma and Manny were having a good time at the party talking to Damien and his friend when Jay walked in and looked straight at her. She was wearing gray jeans and her purple Moon over Marin shirt.

_So she likes good music, whatever. She happened to choose the song about the environment. Typical, boring, predictable, Greenpeace_

"Why hello, Cause Girl" Jay said through gritted teeth, "I see you're wearing a lovely Dead Kennedys shirt with the lyrics to Moon over Marin on them".

"Here to make fun of my interest in the environment, Jayson" Emma replied, "Just because you don't give two shits on a toilet seat about the environment doesn't mean you have to taunt me"

_Haha! Two shits on a toilet seat, that was actually funny Emma. Touché! _

"Why Goldilocks, I love the environment! Marijuana comes from the environment!"

"Figures" Emma retorted, "Now go find some skank to hook up with Jayson"

"Why are you too busy now?" Jay laughed.

Emma turned her full attention to Jay, giving him possibly the dirtiest look he had ever received.

_Man, she's pissed. I better just leave…_

**Got a life from life on TV**

**Two eyes that stay in my skull**

**Long enough to start to believe**

**If you give it up they'll love you for it**

**Give them blood and they'll love you for it**

Once Jay left, Emma started to get bored. Some random guy was hitting on her, practically hanging on to her, whispering in her ear about some band he was in or some team he was on, she wasn't really paying attention. Her stomach felt like it was caving in.

"I need to get some fresh air" Emma stood up and excused herself to go sit on the porch.

**You're not my girl**

**You're just tired**

It was a quiet night, nothing was really going on. She stood against the railing looking at the sky and listening to the music from the party.

Jay was sitting at the party, beer in one hand, joint in the other, while Amy was practically jumping his dick.

"Let's go upstairs, Jay. Remember all those fun times we used to have?" Amy purred.

"Actually Amy, I have to go. I've got some shit to do. See you around" Jay called while exiting the room.

**You're not my girl**

**You're just tired**

While he was walking to his car, he noticed Emma Nelson sitting on the porch.

"Why aren't you inside?" He grunted while walking towards her.

"And miss drunken Lakehurst guys try to jump me, Manny flirt with every guy there, and Peter making rude comments about me? I have no idea" Emma said sarcastically.

**Let's get the party started**

**All born to stay up late**

**No one gets out of this one**

**No one gets out of this**

Jay looked at Emma and after a moment of awkward silence, announced, "I have a question"

"No, I'm not going to let you fuck me" Emma rolled her eyes.

"No thanks, I don't wanna pop your cherry all over my neat little Civic. However, since you're the one bringing it up that must mean you want it. But nevermind that for now, what made you so sick?" Jay questioned.

"Hog! You big softy" Emma laughed hitting his chest, "Caring for me?"

"Forget it Nelson" Jay bit back.

**You're not my girl**

**You're just tired**

"No, I… I don't know. It must have been a fever" Emma sighed looking at her feet in order to avoid eye contact.

"Riiiight" Jay replied sarcastically.

"One question" Emma mocked Jay

"No I would not ruin the civic for you"

"You're so vulgar! Ugh! I just wanted to ask why you are leaving. Going to another ravine party that's even better?" Emma questioned.

**Give it up and they'll love you for it**

**Give them blood and they'll love you for it**

"Actually Greenpeace, I have to go home to work on something involving my future"

"That being?"

"Studying for my G.E.D.S"

"You mean!" Emma gasped, "You're leaving Degrassi? You're just going to drop out?"

"Chill Sprout, I just want a back up, you know, in case I do drop out, or Hatzilakos decides to kick my ass out. Not everyone has pretty boy on their side to tell mommy to look the other way. Well see ya" Jay said while walking to his car.

Emma ran up and stopped him, "Jay, um, I wanted to say thanks for earlier today. I mean, I know I was a super bitch at the mall, but really, it means a lot to me. So I was thinking…"

"Doesn't surprise me"

Emma just rolled her eyes, "I could, you know, help you with your studying, I have a lot of free time at school; we could meet at the public library or something"

"That'd be cool, I guess. 12 tomorrow?"

"Oh, I have lunch then. That's perfect"

"You mean you can eat at the library?"

"Well, not really. I mean, I'll just eat and then go to the library. I'm a fast eater" Emma flinched, the way she always did when food was brought up in conversation.

Jay just narrowed his eyes, tilted his head and went, "you're a strange girl, Nelson" and got in his car.

**You're not my girl**

**You're just tired**


	4. All Fall Down

**A/N: **Here is a short chapter, but don't worry. I'll upload a few more with it! Glad to see you guys are still reading this.

Oh! And thanks to **AllieB0524 **for the review! I appreciate it and hope I'm not letting you down with this story.

**Disclaimer:** I wish I owned Jay Hogart, really, I do. But I don't own him, Emma, or the song 'All Fall Down' by SR-71.

* * *

**I can be as humble as the next guy**

**Or I can blink and make you crumble from the inside**

**I could be every nasty thing, You ever thought a man could be**

**'Cause They all fall down**

**'Cause they all fall down**

Emma stood outside the party waiting for Manny. _God! Jay can be such an asshole, but then all of the sudden, he's totally decent. It's like sometimes he has no feelings at all, totally jaded, and then next, he's not half bad._

**Jaded, dated, I'm the type you hated**

**Haunted, Taunted, I'm what you've always wanted**

**Yeah, Yeah, I'm what you've always wanted**

_Where the hell is Manny? _Emma started to question as she went inside to look for her best friend, it hit her. Her stomach was growling and she had to sit down, she just stood there, wincing, trying not to fall on the floor.

**I can make you see the beauty of a new sun**

**or I can be the source of your desperation**

**I could be every nasty thing, you ever dreamt a man could be**

**'cause they all fall down**

**'cause they all fall down**

"Emmie, baby! You okay?" Manny nearly screamed, it was more than painfully obvious that she had a few too many.

"Yeah. Let's just go"

**Jaded, dated, I'm the type you hated**

**Haunted, Taunted, I'm what you've always wanted**

**Yeah, yeah, I'm what you've always wanted**

When Emma and Manny finally got home, Manny passed out drunk. Emma turned on the TV to watch a movie, it was something on lifetime, she couldn't remember the name but it was the classic 'Good girl meets bad boy' scenario. Soon enough, she drifted off.

"_Baby you're going to love this party"_

"_I don't know, I kind of just wanted to stay home"_

"_Just come with me" he said, pulling her out of the house._

_  
Emma Nelson stood in the driveway wearing a pink dress, to a party, she knew this would be an embarrassing night. _

"_All your friends are going to be there, they think I'm just some stuck up bitch"_

_It was dark at night, the shade was drawn, covering her escort. She got in the car and they drove away._

"_Where is this party?" she asked_

"_Shh" he whispered_

_The car came to a stop. Emma got out of the car and they were at Central Park, her lifelong dream was always to see it at night._

"_Baby I, I love you. I always have" he whispered to her_

"_I, I love you too… Jay" Emma screamed while jumping into his arms and kissing him._

**You can turn away like you don't even see me**

**Yeah, You can smile like you got something I need**

**But every night you go home alone**

**and dream about being underneath me**

_  
_Emma awoke up startled, _did I just dream that I said I love you to Jay?!_

x

_It was a blistering hot day, Jay took her hand and they sat in his backyard. She was eating a cherry Popsicle. Licking it from the bottom to the top and then putting it into her mouth. A drop fell… hitting her just in between her white bathing suit top. Popsicles never looked so appetizing. She stood in front of him, making him lick it off. _

"_I'm so sticky" she announced, grabbing his hand and running towards the sprinkler. Her bathing suit becoming more translucent as the water hit it, her skin glistening with droplets, her blond hair dripping slowly. _

"_Jay, I love you" she said, running her hands through his shaggy brown hair. _

"_Fuck, I love you too Nelson" he said while tugging at her hair._

Jay woke up sweating, _Did I just dream I told Emma Nelson that I loved her?!_

**Can't you see through this disguise  
**

**Find the little boy inside**

**I'm afraid of falling**

**Love is pain and now she's calling**

**And she's...**

**Jaded, dated, I'm the type you hated**

**Haunted, taunted, I'm what you've always wanted**

**Yeah, Yeah, I'm what you've always wanted**

**'Cause they all fall down.**


	5. Go With The Flow

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Some brilliant Canadians own Degrassi, and Queens of the Stone Age own 'Go With the Flow'.

* * *

Emma put on her baby blue hoodie and her star camisole. She decided to go with her skinny jeans and pink Converse. She didn't want it to look like she was trying too hard. For some reason, that dream was getting to her; it was crawling under her skin. She exited Degrassi and walked the block to the public library. Right before going inside, she stopped and stood against the building, stomach aching. It started to get a little bit blurry, she knew from experience it would all vanish if she just stood still for a bit. Emma leaned over, clutching her stomach.

**She said, "I'll throw myself away**

**They're just photos after all"**

**I can't make you hang around**

**I can't wash you off my skin**

"Do I repulse you that much?" She heard Jay say as he jogged up the steps.

"No, I just, I must have ate something that didn't agree with me"

"Or nothing at all" Jay mumbled.

"What did you say?" Emma asked looking him in the eye with a scowl.

Jay just stormed into the library building after retorting "Nothing, forget it"

Jay sat inside the library: _What was with her outside. She needs to take care of herself. Wait, I don't care about her. I care about the Emma from my dreams. Okay, who am I trying to kid. I might have a slight thing for dream Emma Nelson. And its called lust. Sorry folks, Jay Hogart does not do monogamy nor does he do nature freaks. _

**Outside the frame, is what we're leaving out**

**You won't remember anyway**

**I can go with the flow**

**But don't say it doesn't matter anymore**

Five minutes later the black dots went away and Emma walked into the library casually.

"Hey" she whispered to Jay, setting her bag down on the table he was sitting at.

"Hi" he grumbled back

"Jay, do you want my help or not? Because I was just trying to be nice, but if you really don't want me to, don't waste my time" Emma stated.

Jay breathed out deeply, "Okay Nelson. I need some help"

**I can go with the flow**

**But don't say it doesn't matter anymore**

**I can go with the flow**

**Do you believe it in your head**

Emma smiled, "Let me see the guidelines for the exam: 240 multiple choice on every subject and an essay? This is a pretty heavy duty test. "

"Tell me about it"

"So, to start, which is your worst subject?"

"Probably social studies, all those facts… so unimportant"

"So go through your review book and highlight all the important parts and we can create a review guide from that"

"Okay Nelson Mame" Jay mock saluted to her.

**It's so safe to play along**

**Little soldiers in a row**

**Falling in and out of love**

**with something sweet to throw away**

Emma walked over to another table and started to read her book. Rarely, okay all the time, Emma would look at Jay work. _He looks kind of cute, the way he's leaning over the book, biting his pencil trying to understand the material, scratching his head at times, shaking his hair, tapping his highlighter…_

"I know you're watching me" Jay smirked looking up from his book, interrupting Emma's thoughts.

"Sorry, You just look a little lost" Emma replied quietly.

Jay looked up at her and made eye contact, her brown eyes were so opaque and sincere.

Emma walked over to the table once again and sat down next to Jay, for some reason her heart was racing, _it's probably just the hunger pains making me feel weird. _

**But I want something good to die for**

**To make it beautiful to live**

**I want a new mistake, loss is more than hesitate**

**Do you believe it in your head?**

"Well to begin, it isn't necessary to highlight EVERYTHING. Highlighting is used for the important parts"

"But this whole section seems important" Jay whined, "plus, highlighting is fun"

"Yes, but you should only highlight the significant ideas" Emma giggled

"But if it wasn't important than why would I have to study it"

"Jay, you know what I mean. The main topics from the section; here give me it"

Emma tried to grab the highlighter from Jay's hand but he just held on tighter. Getting frustrated, she put her hand over his and made the highlighter move over the key facts. Once Emma realized she was grabbing Jay's hand she pulled away, "Well, you can go from there."

Emma sat down and immersed herself in a book: An Analysis of Dreams.

_I must not be reading this right, because it's almost telling me, telling me that I LIKE Jay Hogart. Impossible, I mean he's everything I'm against, slacking off, partying, using girls. Well granted he is not slacking off so much anymore, and his using of girls ended with the gonorrhea Outbreak. Still!_

**I can go with the flow**

**But don't say it doesn't matter anymore**

"Whatcha reading?" Jay asked Emma while walking over and leaning above her.

"Nothing!" Emma screamed closing the book

"Chill Em. "An Analysis of Dreams" Hmm, I should check it out, I had a really fucked up dream last night."

"Oh! Let's analyze it, tell me about it"

"No can do sprout, no can do"

"Ugh whatever. I have to go anyway, I'm going to class, something you should try. Can you return this book for me?" Emma asked Jay.

"Yeah, I guess. Thanks for today"

"Your Welcome. See you tomorrow" Emma screamed while running out the door

_Seriously, what was with that dream I had last night. I mean its one thing to have a wet dream about some hot chick, but to actually tell her I love her. Wait, I mean, Its one thing to have a wet dream about some chick. Because Nelson is not exactly hot. Well, okay. She is. But still, she's not my type. _

_According to this book, Emma is going to transform my life by having me love her? Please, It's not like I like Nelson, she's not transforming my life, I was just horny and ate something weird before bed, that must be it. I mean, she's so bitchy, prude, and good. Well, okay I think its pretty cool how she stands up for herself, and its better to be prude than to be infected I guess, and the whole good girl thing can have its advantage, just watch the Brittney spears video with her in the school uniform._

**I can go with the flow**

**Do you believe it in your head?**


	6. I Get It

**Disclaimer:** I still have the rights to nothing. Song by Chevelle, the title if you have yet to notice a pattern, is the name of the chapter :D, but if you're too lazy to avert your eyes a mere 2 inches, here you go... 'I Get It'

* * *

**So you say you're ignored**

**As it is, **

**Well, Give us your sad, sad trip**

It had been a week since Emma had been helping Jay; they were both getting at each others nerves, as was to be expected. One day, while studying in the library, Emma had been trying to help Jay with a math problem, but found herself getting frustrated.

"Jay, how do you not get this!?" Emma sighed, throwing her pencil down at the paper. _My head hurts, my stomach hurts, and i can't believe he doesn't understand this! How many times do I have to explain it to him?!_

"It's not that simple, Greenpeace!" Jay bit back, grabbing the paper out of her hand. _What is her problem? Did I even do anything snap-worthy today? All I asked was help on the certain geometry problem, but no, I got super nature freak. _

**You're right, I get it**

**It all makes sense**

**You're the perfect person**

**So right, so wrong**

**Let's all live in your imaginary life**

"Stop calling me that!"

"Come on, it's just a nickname. Lighten up" Jay replied.

"Jay, I'm taking time out of my lunch period, where I could be hanging out with people who actually like me, to help you. I would appreciate it if you could at least try"

Jay rolled his eyes and scratched the back of his head, "Easy for you to say, Nelson. Everything is so simple for you!"

Emma couldn't help but laugh, "Yeah! So Simple! 7th grade, Snake's cancer, having a gun held to my face, STD, it's all just a dream in Emmaland!" _ Not to mention: Jordan, Manny ditching me, Snake and my mom separating for that period. Me being a fat ass. Peter always trying to get me to have sex._

**Assumed, it's whether**

**We're right, I'm wrong**

**We're doomed, and there's plenty for all**

Emma just picked up her books and ran out of the library. _I'm not going to sit here and take this from Jay Hogart. _ Soon enough she heard Jay's voice calling to her as he too walked outside into the sunlight.

"Then why do you care so much about the fucking environment, if your life sucks so bad" Jay asked, throwing his arms up questioningly.

**How dare you catch me counting**

**How dare you call at all**

**How dare you call it suffering**

**How dare you call at all**

"OH MY GOD. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! YOU JUST PLAYED THE ENVIRONMENT CARD?" Emma raged, "AND HERE I THOUGHT YOU WERE OVER MAKING FUN OF ME FOR THAT!"

"I WASN'T MAKING FUN OF YOU! IT WAS A QUESTION" Jay shouted while walking to his civic.

Emma just stood there, narrowed her eyes and responded, "Because maybe I care about something other than myself! All you care about is getting drunk and getting laid! Well, sorry JAY! The world doesn't revolve around you!"

**You're right, I get it**

**It all makes sense**

**You're the perfect person**

**So right, So wrong**

**Let's all live in your imaginary life**

"Where are you getting this from? You are such a freak!" Jay replied while pounding his fists on the top of his car.

"Why don't you have another guy shoot me?!" Emma screamed, an allusion to the Rick incident.

**Pressed on these tannins**

**they're doubled in time**

**the touch of life, once failed to mention so far**

**of course the law is fountains  
**

**of face to face remorse**

**a fast and restless blackmail**

**like pent-up fetish force**

Upsetting Jay Hogart to the point where he drove away without a smart reply was a seemingly impossible task. One Emma Nelson could accomplish.

_What the fuck? How could she even bring up the Rick incident? First of all, it's not like I gave the guy a loaded gun and told him "FIND EMMA NELSON". How was I supposed to know he would come in with a gun? I didn't even know he had a problem with Emma! They were all buddy-buddy when I planned that prank. That's all it was a prank. The bastard tagged my baby and Spinners. But if Emma's gonna pull that shit, then she can suck my dick… again. Fuck you, Greenpeace._

**Do you want it enough?**

**Do you want it all?**

**Should you need it at all?**

**Takes a minute to see**

**Do you want enough?**

**Do you want it at all?**

**Should you need it at all?**

**Do you want it or not?**

_Wow. I can't believe I said that to Jay. That was a pretty low blow. _

Emma, ultimately feeling terrible about what she did, decided if he was at school she would apologize to him, face-to-face. But since today was a Tuesday, she still had a few classes left in the day, and she would have to go to school.

When she was walking down the hall with Manny, she saw him. He was standing at his locker, searching for something.

**You're right, I get it**

**It all makes sense**

**You're the perfect person**

**So right, so wrong**

**Let's all live in your imaginary life**

"Manny, I have to talk to someone. I'll be right back" Emma told her best friend who just shrugged and walked away.

"Jay…" Emma said, trying to get his attention.

"What?" He snarled

"I, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I said. It's not like you made Rick do that. So, I'm sorry for what I said, and hopefully we can put this behind us"

"Fine" Jay said, turning around to face her, "but, I didn't want that to happen"

"I know" Emma said, while looking in his eyes.

The bell rang and they both parted ways.


	7. It Could Be You

* * *

A.N: Thanks **hooked-on-degrassi **for the review! : glad you like it,

Disclaimer: I do not own the song, it's all Alexz Johnson, **It could be you**

* * *

Emma was sitting in the library with Jay. It was a beautiful day outside, and sitting in the air-conditioned library may be nice, but Emma couldn't wait to get outdoors.

"I'm bored" Jay whined, as Emma tried to explain Sine, Cosine, and Tangent to him.

"Focus, Jay." Emma whispered back, "your exam is coming up"

"Exactly, Cause Girl. I need to relieve some stress. You know, have some fun. Just get out of here"

"And where do you suggest we go, Jayson?" Emma said, smirking.

"The ravine" Jay replied, emotionless.

"HOLD UP" Emma harshly said, quickly being interrupted by Jay

**You and me all alone**

**it's too late to say we didn't know**

**we shouldn't be all alone**

"Calm down, not for that, Nature Freak"

Emma just looked at him like he had lost his mind, "Why would we go to the ravine? There are a million reasons why we shouldn't. Plus, people are going to be there, and they're not exactly going to want to hang out with a Nature Freak like me"

**One of us might lose control**

**Of these feelings we've been hiding**

**Deep down they might start to show**

**Not here not now watch my frustrations grow**

"Emma, it's a Thursday morning, who is going to be there?"

"Drugged out, hung over, cranked up-"

"Then we'll go where no one is" Jay interrupted her, like it was all completely logical.

Emma sighed, "I can't believe I'm agreeing to this" The minute she gave the OK, Jay was already flying out the door.

"TAKE YOUR BOOKS HOGART. I'm not your maid!" Emma said laughing, and picking up his textbooks. _Just like a little kid, _she laughed.

-xxx-

When they got to the ravine, Jay directed her to a place where no one was, it was serene. Emma sat down, looking at the water. She was wearing a blue tee shirt and light jeans, her blond hair was scrunched down, and the way the sun was shining on her, she looked like a magazine model displaying how summer should be.

"It's so beautiful up here" Emma said, breathing in the fresh air.

**I know what I feel and you feel it to**

**I dream of that first kiss and who'll make the first move**

**Who's gonna put their heart on the line**

**It could be me, it could be you, tonight**

"Ohmigod, I know. It's terrif!" Jay said, mimicking her.

"Shut up, Hogart. I do not talk like that" Emma pouted

"I'm just kidding. Relax, take a breather"

"Hey, i can relax"

"Whatever you say Van Zandt"

"What the hell?" Emma gasped, _Am I seriously as bad as Liberty?_

"Calm down, Goldilocks. I'm just messing with you"

**Show me who you are**

**Stop me before I go too far**

**'Cause it hurts to hold back**

**So hold me or I might crack**

**I'm gasoline you're the match**

**I'm not sure if we handle that**

**We might explode, it could be a mess**

**I say we take the chance**

Emma stood up and started to walk around.

"What are you doing?"

"Come here" she said, directing Jay to where she was standing, looking at a mama bird feed her babies.

"Hey! That one's getting ignored!"

"Shh, you'll scare them off" Emma said, shushing Jay.

**I know what I feel and you feel it too**

**I dream of that first kiss and who'll make the first move**

**Who's gonna put their heart on the line**

**It could be me, it could be you, tonight**

"Well, the poor bird isn't getting any worms" Jay pouted, pointing to the runt of the litter, "I'm gonna feed him"

"No you can't, Jay! The bird will become dependent on you for food, or the mother will view you as a predator, or she might kill her bird, some species do that if a human touches it"

"Wow, you really do know a lot about nature. That bird is cool though, look at it"

**I'm mixed up confused**

**And I don't know what to do**

**I want to and I'd love to**

**If I knew you'd want me to**

"Is Jay Hogart interested in the environment"

"It's not that bad, it's kinda cool"

Emma turned and looked at Jay, her puppy dog eyes staring through him. Jay leaned into kiss her and-

**I know what I feel and you feel it too**

**I dream of that first kiss and who'll make the first move**

**Who's gonna put their heart on the line**

**It could be me it could be you...**

"FUCK"

"What?" Emma asked startled, _did I just try to kiss Jay Hogart?_

"A bird shit on me! That bird shit on me! I told you the mother was evil! I fucking told you!" Jay screamed while trying to get the bird poop off of his hat.

"Hold still, Jay" Emma said, laughing hysterically, "Here, let me help you"

"And on my favorite hat too"

**I know what I feel and you feel it too**

**I dream of that first kiss and who'll make the first move**

**Who's gonna put their heart on the line**

**It could be me, it could be you, tonight.**


	8. Waste My Time

Waste my time

**A/N: It may seem like filler, but there is a specific reason why Manny and Emma had to discuss this situation ! ((:**

**Disclaimer: **Waste My Time by **Alexz Johnson **(mostly), and the** 'Only Posers Fall in Love' **is taken from the movie Slc Punk.

* * *

**My friends are telling me I lost my mind**

**When I hooked up with you**

**Maybe that's true**

"Emma" Manny called while walking into their shared bedroom/basement. The walls were painted off-white; the bed had a black satin comforter, with olive green sheets, a color that was a favorite of Emma; there were now two black modern dressers with a three panel mirror on each; the walk-in closet was jam packed with clothes, shoes, and accessories. There were pictures and posters on the ceiling and walls: Manny and Emma when they were kids; Manny, Emma, J.T., and Toby on the last day of summer before grade 7; Emma at her mothers wedding; Manny and Craig holding on to each other smiling while he received news of his music career; the play in which Emma starred in; and the casual band, movie, teen heart throb cut out magazine pictures splattered.

Emma walked into the bedroom wearing a towel, fresh from the shower and trying to shake out her damp hair.

"You rang?" She laughed, "What's up?"

"Is there any reason why Liberty saw you and a certain resident bad boy walking out of none other than the public library?" Manny inquired.

**They say I'll wake up one day**

**Askin' what did I do**

**Maybe that's true too**

"Jay?" Emma replied, "Chill, we're just friends".

"And I'm just friends with Craig Manning." Manny replied, rolling her eyes.

Emma just stood there with a confused look.

"Come on Emma, I know you have feelings for Jay, don't deny it. It's not a biggie" Manny said outstretching her arms to embrace Emma in a hug.

"Manny! I do not like Jay Hogart. I never did nor will I ever"

"Emma, look, despite how coco bananas I think you are right now, it doesn't change the fact that you're maybe possibly crushing on Jay"

**But when I'm with you everything's alright**

**All I know is how I feel**

**When you're with me**

"Manny! I .. I can't like Jay! He's Jayson Hogart. He steals, he lies, he smokes, he drinks, he skips school, he.."

"Makes your record skip?"

"What the hell are you on? I do not like him! Seriously, I feel bad for him" Emma lied.

_I can't tell Manny that I maybe possibly like Jay Hogart, I don't even understand it. Let alone her!_

**Waste my time**

**Waste my time**

**Not so sure that I'll be yours but baby you could be mine**

**It's all about hanging out**

**Cause you know how to waste my time**

"Why would you waste time on him then?"

"He needed help. You know me, Miss 'Save the world'; one stoner at a time" Emma giggled

**Nothing like an empty day**

**With no where to be**

**You're right there with me**

**Laughing as the world goes by**

**How we let it be**

**Movin' way too fast**

Emma and Manny hugged but Emma couldn't help think about the 'stoner', there were definitely some conflicting feelings about him, there was something about being with him that always made her feel... careless. _The way he laughs at things most people were offended by, the way he offended most people. He had those piercing, clear blue eyes that hypnotized her. The chiseled chest that she wanted to run her fingers over, the long shaggy hair that would make great sex hair... what am I thinking?_

**But when I'm with you I don't really care**

**What they all want me to be**

**I just want you beside me**

**Waste my time**

**Waste my time**

**Now so sure that I'll be yours but baby you could be mine**

**It's all about, hanging out**

**Cause you know how to waste my time**

-xxx-

**Cute girl on the other side of the wall**

**I like the way you move your body and if you fall**

**I'll be the one that's gonna catch you before you hit the ground**

**I'm seeing this out**

"So… Jay, Hon, what's up with you and Emma Nelson?" Paige asked, interrupting Jay's thoughts.

"Yeah, Fuck's with that? First you caught her when she fell, then you're always with her. Do you have a thing for Greenpeace?" Alex sided with Paige.

"You know, Sweetie bear, Emma is actually really nice" Paige interrupted her girlfriend, "I think you should give her a chance… Jay sure is" she finished smirking at him before kissing her girlfriend.

**It's all about**

**Hanging out**

**Cause you know how to waste my time**

"Will you two shut the fuck up! I don't have a thing for Greenpeace, she's pretty fucking hot, but we all know that. Even you checked her out the other day Alex, and I bet you do too Paige! But that's all, she's hot. She has no edge! So just chill the fuck out!" Jay screamed

"You really checked her out?" Paige whispered to Alex

"Just to remind myself that your all I need" she whispered back to Paige

"I love you" Paige replied.

"ONLY POSERS FALL IN LOVE" Jay screamed at them.

**Waste my time**

**Waste my time**

**Not so sure that I'll be yours**

**but baby you could be mine**

**It's all about**

**hanging out**

**Cause you know how to waste my time**


	9. Right Now

* * *

A/N: **Hey everyone, I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a while, schools coming and all, so I've been doing my last minute partying! I'm gonna stop rambling now, enjoy!!**

Disclaimer: Song belongs to Sr-71, oh and the cute little 'wrong tuna' line is similar to the one in the Perks of Being A Wallflower, i just really love that book (:

* * *

The next day Emma and Jay were studying at the library, concentrating on the material, when Emma's cellphone rang.

"I'll be right back" Emma whispered to Jay while walking outside.

_Hm, stay hear and study or follow Cause Girl and listen to her conversation.. I choose the latter._

Jay strolled outside and could hear the whole conversation from the side of the pillar.

"Peter, you can't just apologize for what you said to me, on the phone"

"But Em, I love you. You mean the world to me"

**She clings to me like cellophane**

**Fake plastic submarine**

**Slowly driving me insane**

**But now that's over**

"What happened to the girl at the party"

"When I found out you were sick, I realized how much you meant to me. Please take me back"

"I have to go peter"

"I love you. I'm going to talk to you tomorrow in school"

" Bye"

**So what if the sex was great**

**Just a temporary escape**

**Another thing I grew to hate**

**But now that's over**

Jay heard Emma walking towards the building and ran ahead.

"So.. uh, how was it outside?"

"How was it listening to my conversation?" Emma smirked back.

"Why were you with Poindexter if he's such an asshole"

"Well, I mean. He can be a cool guy at times, he's not always like he is in school"

"Emma, you flip out if someone is eating the wrong kind of Tuna but you let Peter treat you like shit?"

**Why, Why do you always kick me when I'm high**

**Knock me down til we see eye to eye**

**Figured her out I know she**

**May not be Miss Right but she'll do right now**

"You wouldn't understand Jay"

"Try me"

"I don't love Peter or anything like that. It was just nice to have someone around, you know?"

"Actually yeah. Why do you think I dated Alex for so long?"

"But, you actually loved Alex, Jay. I mean just having someone that may not be the one but will do right now"

"Hahaha", He laughed in her face, "You think Alex was my one?"

**I used to hang on every word**

**Each lie was more absurd**

**Kept me so insecure**

**But now that's over**

"Well, yeah. You were pretty close and all"

"She was like, a friend with benefits that I liked more than just a friend, I don't know. She was tough, and that was cool. I mean, we both knew as soon as one of us found someone better it was over."

"But she seemed really upset after the whole… you know"

"Cause I gave her an STD. It was more about her than me"

"oh. Well, I'm sorry for messing things up with her"

"It wasn't your fault, it's mine. Besides, Amy was the one that had it, you weren't the only one I was hooking up with"

**She taught me how to trust**

**And to believe in us**

**And then she taught me how to cuss**

**That bitch, it's over!**

"Way to make a girl feel great Jay" Emma sighed, "I should just go"

"Em, wait" Jay said, grabbing her arm, shocking both of them, "Uh, I'm sorry… for everything"

"It's okay Jay, the ravine thing was not your fault"

"No, I'm sorry for the ravine, the rick thing, the making fun of you thing, the laptop thing…"

"Apology accepted" Emma smiled, "but really, I'm not feeling too good, I should go"

**You know I used to be such a nice boy**

"You want something to eat?"

"No, I had a really big lunch. Super big, I'm just gonna go home and lay down or something. See you tomorrow"

"Yeah, see ya"

-xxx-

**Why? Why do you always kick me when I'm high**

**Knock me down til we see eye to eye**

**Figured her out I know **

**She may not be Miss Right, She'll do right now**


	10. Not The Same

**A.N:** I know this is super short, but I thought it was very cute.

**Disclaimer: **Not the Same by Bodyjar. Jay and Emma by Degrassi's writers. If you ever read the book Second Helpings, you might notice the similarity of this chapter to that of Jessica Darling;s post-breakup with Len. Emma seems like Jessica, but less angsty.

* * *

**Think of all the things I do**

**And I still hold the thought of you**

**With someone else, I know its true**

**So faraway**

Emma walked down the main hall of her school, waiting to talk to Peter. Jay walked up and whispered to her, "I'll pay you 10 dollars if you kick Peter Pan's ass"

"Jay, I'm going to remain poised, dignified, and graceful, no matter how much I want to watch him scream in pain"

Peter came slinking up to Emma, an apologetic look on his face, "Emma, I just want to apologize for hurting you and I was hoping we could get back-"

**And I can only hold my breath**

**And start to die a lonely death**

**With you and me and all the rest, so faraway**

"First of all, spare me your apology because it's more about making yourself feel less guilty than it is about looking for my forgiveness. Second of all, don't flatter yourself by thinking you hurt me. You're either an egomaniac or a psychotic like your mother if you think you hurt me" _Yeah, that's right. I sunk to a 'Yo Mama' level. Whatever. He deserved it. _"You blindsided me, that's for sure. And I was pissed off. Not so much about you hooking up with that girl because everyone knows you're just the latest trick in her hoebag. No, I was pissed for only one reason: you broke up with me before I had a chance to break up with you. And that makes me an even bigger asshole than you are. But at least I know it!"

**Don't say I told you so**

**One thing you'll never know**

**You're not the same**

**You've changed**

**I don't need you anyway**

**Somethings missing anyway**

**You're not the person that I believed in yesterday**

When Emma finished there was an applause from the scattered students in the hallway.

"So much for quiet, dignified grace" Jay said, his lips pressed together, and his arms folded against his faded black t-shirt, clinging to his chest.

"Not my style" Emma laughed, "I'm more of a loud, offensive mess"

"Yes" he said, slowly breaking into his signature smirk, "Yes, you are"

**I can't hold it back you see**

**I know it all comes back to me**

**You must have practice hard to be so faraway**

**Never wanted me to show**

**Just write me off, I let you go**

**And now there's more for you to know**

**so faraway**


	11. Nothing To Lose

* * *

A/N: The song's about Rick's perspective. The chapter may be OOC for Jay, I don't know. Enjoy

Disclaimer: Song by Billy Talent, Nothing To Lose

**Need more friends with wings**

**All the angels I know**

**put concrete in my veins**

"That was so bad ass of you, Greenpeace" Jay said, smirking at Emma.

The two were sitting outside of 'their' section of the ravine. It really was a breath-taking place. The water trickled nearby.

"Well, He needed to hear it at one point. Plus, it got him to back off" Emma laughed while moving closer to Jay.

Jay look over to her, she was sitting there with her head tilted looking out at the stream. Her blond hair bounced as she turned to look at Jay. The tension was unbearable, but it was something more than sexual, although sexual tension was definitely there.

"Why are you even with me?" Jay asked her, out of nowhere.

"What?"

"I'm, I'm the reason you almost died" Jay said, unable to look at her

**I****'d always walk home alone**

**So I became lifeless **

**Just like my telephone**

"Jay, you weren't the reason. Rick was mentally unstable" Emma began, "Look at me. I don't blame you at all. We all pushed him, every single person did. I start a frickin' campaign against the kid! You didn't know that by pulling a prank on him would end in that result. It's not like you knew he was going to pull a gun and shoot Jimmy. You were just the last straw, he couldn't take it anymore. But your fault? Absolutely not"

**There's nothing to lose**

**When no one knows your name**

**There's nothing to gain**

**But the days don't seem to change**

"Seriously? You're the only person that doesn't point their finger at me. I'm not a great guy, but I never knew he would have a meltdown like that. If someone did that to me, I wouldn't kill them. Sure, I'd beat them up pretty fucking bad, but actually shoot someone? That's fucked up. Emma, I hate that he went after you, I always did. You remember when you were in the dot?"

"How could I forget, that look"

**Never played truth or dare**

**I'd have to check my mirror**

**To see if I'm still here**

"I saw that, and I knew some shit was going to go down. That look in his eye, I recognized it. It was the look that guys get when their about to bludgeon some chick. And all I'm thinkin' is that if he touches you, I'm gonna kill him. So I grab him, and take him behind the back. I'm getting so pissed because you just had a look of pure fear on your face, and the Emma I know never backs down and is never scared of anyone."

Emma blushed at his last sentenced and he noticed, giving her a quick smirk before continuing.

**My parents had no clue**

**That I ate all my lunches**

**Alone in the bathroom**

"I swear, I thought I was going to kill him. Then you jumped in front, and the whole time I was thinking, "What the fuck is she doing? He's about to murder her and she protects him?" I thought that was really cool of you, but I also thought you were fucking crazy. Which I guess makes sense because you are pretty cool… and fucking crazy. So I drop it and went home. The whole time I'm in the car I'm getting more pissed off, and I even debated coming back and finding him. But something in me, told me to stop in order to… protect you"

Emma moved her hand and touched Jay's shoulder lightly, sighing. It was silent for a couple of minutes before Emma spoke up.

"What did you think, when you heard that gunshot?"

**There's nothing to lose**

**When no one knows your name**

**There's nothing to gain**

**But the days don't seem to change**

**There's nothing to lose**

**My notebook will explain**

**There's nothing to gain**

**And I can't fight the pain**

"I didn't think I heard right, you know. I was just sitting in class, that they threw me in wondering what was going on. Actually, I thought it was just some drill, like a fire drill. I had no idea what was going on. To be honest, I was thinking about smoking a cig. What about you, Emma, when you saw Rick and the gun"

Emma just looked at the ground, "we don't have to talk about this, Em" Jay said,

**Teach us that it's just a phase**

**When I grow up my children**

**Will probably do the same**

**Kids just love to tease**

**I know it put me under ground**

**At seventeen**

"No, it's okay. I, I didn't think. I went into total shock mode. Couldn't move. Couldn't talk. Couldn't think. I couldn't believe what was going on. It wasn't until I was standing in the office talking to the police that I realized what had happened"

"I'm so, so, sorry" Jay whispered

"It's okay" Emma said, leaning her head on his shoulder, "I think for the first time, I'm starting to believe it's okay"

**There's nothing to lose**

**When no one knows your name**

**There's nothing to gain**

**But the days don't seem to change**

**There's nothing to lose**

**My notebook will explain**

**There's nothing to gain**

**And I can't fight the pain**


	12. Why Do All Girls Think They're Fat?

**A.N: Hey! I am like the biggest asshole in the world for not posting sooner, i've got my excuses, but i'll save them! Enjoy **

**Thanks xxfattaeey, I'm glad you like it.**

**AllieB0524, thanks! You make me want to post more, I wasn't too sure about this story**

**Hooked-on-degrassi, Perks is one of my favorite books and it's the part where his sister is getting beat by her boyfriend and he says like "My sister goes crazy if you eat the wrong kind of tuna, but here was this guy hitting her", I think i've read that book hundreds of times aha :D**

* * *

**There's a **

**Little girl! On my mind**

**Little Girl! All the time**

**Little Girl! There's always one**

**Little Girl! Look what she's done**

Jay awoke at 8. _Shit! I have to be to school in 10 minutes. Wait why do I care about school? Well, I don't want Emma to be pissed off or something. Wait! Why the hell do I care if Greenpeace is pissed at me? Answer: I don't. Except, I do need her help. That's the only reason! Why am I arguing with myself? Schizophrenia, now?_

Jay jumped into his Honda Civic, a mere 4 minutes before homeroom began and hit the gas peddle. Jay ran into Degrassi just before the warning bell rang. He looked across the hall and saw her. She was putting her books into her locker but she looked really weak.

"Need some help?" Jay asked swooping over to Emma, offering to carry her books

"From you, no thanks" Emma replied smiling.

A rush of concern washed over Jay, "You don't look so hot, Goldilocks"

"Thanks a lot Jay. Then again, you never thought I was hot", Emma replied, pushing him to the side with her arm, glaring at him.

Jay grabbed Emma's arm and pulled her aside,

"No, I mean. You look sick, did you even eat anything today"

"Yes, MOM, I did, had a big breakfast as a matter of fact"

"What did you eat"

"Does it matter to you what I put in my mouth, it's not you"

"Stop avoiding my questions. Emma are you… you know?"

**She drank the tear from my eye, you know**

**I sure hate to lie**

**Why can't you stay here?**

**You know it's so beautiful**

"No, I don't know. Virgin? Yes. Stupid? Absolutely. Flat as a board? I guess" Emma ranted on, not wanting to spend HER time arguing with Jay.

Jay shook his head and clenched his fist, "First of all, stop changing the damn subject. Your not stupid and you actually have a nice rack" _what am I saying?_, "But that's not the point. Do you even eat anything?"

"Once again, not your concern. Now I would love to stay here and debate with you all day about what I happen to be digesting, but I have class to attend. I'll see you in the library later, depending on my mood"

Emma felt bad about the way she treated Jay, _He was just trying to help. It's not like he accused me of murder  
_

"Hey Em!" Jay called to her inside the library

"SHHHHHHH YOUNG MAN" the Librarian retorted

"Excuse me, but your being louder than I was, you yelling at me to be quiet does not solve anything" Jay bit back, rolling his eyes.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Welch, It won't happen again" Emma pleaded, giving her an apologetic look, before turning to Jay and whispering, "God, Jay, do you want us to get in trouble?"

"No come here" Jay said grabbing Emma's arm leading her to the back of the library. "I brought PB & J and fruit, here you go"

"Oh, the back of the library, this brings back memories" Emma sighed, trying to avoid eating, she inched closer to him and ran her hands up his leg.

"Eat" Jay told her

"I'm not that hungry" She said, trying to get him to drop it.

**Man, how come all girls think they're fat?**

**Hey, hey, hey she's so pretty**

**hey, hey, hey, my friend**

**hey, hey, hey, I feel stupid.. again**

"Nature Freak, I made this wonderful lunch for you, and it happens to be a stab in my heart that you refuse to eat it"

"Fine" Emma said, slowly eating her sandwich.

_Yes! I got her to eat something_

"I'll be right back, I have to go check my makeup" Emma said walking to the library's restroom, _Here goes nothing_ she thought before plunging her finger into her throat.

Jay walked to the water fountain to get a drink and heard the most disgusting noises he could ever hear… Emma Nelson purging.

-xxx-

"What do you think you're doing?" Jay screamed at Emma

"Young man! I told you to be quiet; I am going to have to ask you to leave this library"

"No problem, lady" Jay said, walking him and Emma to his civic.

"What the hell were you doing back there? God! You are a freak. Throwing up? I knew something was wrong with you, seeing how you always get sick, but I never would have guessed this!"

"I'm not bulimic, Jay!"

"Then what?"

"I'm pregnant"

"YOU REALLY ARE MESSED UP"

"What, is it so hard to believe someone would want to have sex with me?"

"No, but it's hard to believe you found someone recently to fuck you, and get you pregnant, even though you weigh like 80 pounds your OBVIOUSLY pregnant"

"Yeh, well. Peter and I had sex; he got me pregnant, shit happens"

"First off, you and Peter never banged, as he made apparent to the whole school when he dumped your sorry ass. Second, You need help.."

Emma burst into tears

"Em, I'm sorry" Jay softened at her crying, "but you need to get help"

"I will, I promise" she cried as he pulled her into a hug,

"you're getting snot all over my black jacket Greenpeace" he laughed,

"fuck you" she smirked.


	13. Temporary Insanity

**What just happened?**

**Did you kiss me?**

**Cause that's a place we've never been until now**

"Em-muhhh" Manny screamed, awakening her best friend at 6 in the morning.

"go away" Emma mumbled while shoving her pillow over her head, trying to block out the wake up call of her best friend.

"I need your help!" Manny screamed, "I have a date with Damien during lunch and I need to pick out an outfit that he will love. Please help"

"Manny, I hate you" Emma said, while pulling a blanket around her tiny frame and walking to the shared closet.

Manny grabbed a black skirt and a royal blue top, "how about this?"

Emma looked at it and realized it was perfect. She looked like she belonged on the red carpet. "Wonderful"

**And I don't know how it's going to be after this**

**Do we pretend these feelings don't exist at all?**

**Or do we fall?**

"Great" Manny shrieked, "I'm going to be in the shower"

"I'm going to sleep" Emma laughed.

When Emma finally got up she threw on a pair of light blue jeans and a black thermal. She straightened her hair and applied her makeup quickly. Her and Manny walked down the halls of Degrassi. _All eyes on Manny, like always._ Emma thought

Manny and Emma continued to walk down the hall when she saw Jay, he was staring.

_God, why does Manny have to look so hot today! He's totally checking her out, obviously. He's got that 'I just saw Manny' stare. Here she is looking like something out of USA Today's best dressed section and I'm in a last minute outfit. _

"Hey Nelson" Jay said as he passed her, walking in the opposite direction.

**My confusion shows whenever you get so close**

**I stumble, I stutter, forget what to say**

**I'm nervous, I wonder why I'm acting this way**

_Was he talking to me? He noticed me. Wait! It's Jay Hogart, I don't care what he thinks about me, he's just a stupid guy. It's not like he's my boyfriend… but he is more than just a friend. I was able to tell him things that I didn't even tell Manny, some friend I am. He probably just is trying to get in my pants or get me into his, again. _

Emma walked through the hall and stopped at her locker, trying to get her books out.

"Did you eat breakfast today, Emma?" She heard him say.

"Yeah I did"

"What did you eat"

**It's temporary insanity**

**What's going on with you and me?**

**Is it real or is it fantasy?**

**Forever or just temporary?**

"A bagel"

"That's nothing. Come on, let's go to Tim Hortons, I'll pay"

"Jay! I'm fine"

"Em,"

"Just drop it Jay, it doesn't involve you anyway"

"I can't believe your getting pissed! I'm just trying to help you. Fuck!"

"It's not your responsibility. You're not my boyfriend"

**You made a moved and changed your mind**

**Too much to lose, you've crossed the line**

**between friends **

**And something more**

"Being your boyfriend won't make me care about you anymore, Greenpeace. Stop pushing me away when I'm trying to help you!" he started to yell

**Was it all a big mistake**

**And if it was it's much to late to undo**

**And i don't really want to**

"I'm not pushing you away" Emma said shakily.

"Oh yes you are! You are doing your best to push me away because you know what you're doing is fucked up. You know what? I'm out of here"

**Let you go but I still don't know**

**How I feel about you**

**What this really means**

**It's crazy to want you**

**Is it meant to be?**

Then Jay walked away, getting into his Civic and driving away.

Emma just ran out of the hall, fast. His words repeating over and over inside her head.

_So this is what it feels like to be legally insane. _

**It's temporary insanity**

**What's going on with you and me?**

**Is it real or is it fantasy?**

**Forever or just temporary?**

**Oh, what you do to me?**

**What comes over me?**

**If this is crazy there's nothing I'd rather be**


	14. Dreams in Digital

"Santos, Where's Nelson?" Jay asked running up to Manny, who unlike normally was decked out in a pair of black sweatpants and a hoodie. For Manny Santos, not dressing up for school was a signal something was wrong.

"She.. She.. she's at the hospital" Manny managed to get out between loud breaths trying to stop the tears. Emma WAS her sister, they may not be blood related, but they were sisters in every sense that mattered.

Jay's face fell, "Why"

"I can't tell you… she wouldn't want anyone to know, especially not you, you hate her" Manny bit back, wanting this conversation to end. _Typical Jay, trying to make others miserable, and it's before homeroom too, great. So now I'm going to start crying, and my make up is going to get ruined, and I'm going to look like a lunatic, and everyone is going to want to know what's wrong, and..._

"Manny, you have to tell me! Is it because of… you know?" Jay yelled, finishing the last part quieter.

"No, I don't know. And wait! You like her don't you?" Manny started to smirk. _Who would have though, Jay falling for Greenpeace. That's so cliche. Bad boy + Good Girl, oh well, It always has been adorable._

"Do not" Jay breathed out, wanting the conversation about him to end, and focus back on why exactly Emma was in the hospital.

"Mhmmm. Do too" Manny giggled, she loved to torture Jay, especially now that she knew this wonderfully juicy information about the object of his desire.

"Just shut up Santos!"

"Ugh, dick" Manny said, rolling her eyes in her typical fashion, "I'll be quiet. But she's not doing too well, she's hooked up to a bunch of machines. It's all my fault"

In a voice barley audible, Jay whispered, "Wh.. What happened?"

"She wasn't eating, I should have noticed. She is my best friend! Instead I've been so focused on my soon-to-be-boyfriend Damien, which I'm not even with anymore"

"God damn! Nelson, how could you do this!" Jay bellowed out into the hall, "Come on Manny"

"Where are we going, Jay?" The skeptical brunette asked

"To the hospital"

Manny and Jay got into his orange Civic and started to drive to the hospital. Manny was fighting back tears the whole time, and Jay could notice.

"Listen, Manny" He began, surprising both of them by not calling her by her last name, or an insult stemming from her last name, "It's not your fault. You didn't even know"

"But I should have! She is my best friend, we live together, Jay! We share a bed!" _Why did I just tell Hogart that Em and I share a bed? That's like every guys wet dream, _"Not in that way Hogart!"

Jay just smirked, a soft smirk. There was something holding him back from his trademarked smirk, or was it someone?

"Manny, I knew" he mumbled

"What?"

"I knew she was… anorexic, or bulimic or whatever"

"How did you know but I didn't?" Manny gasped, her eyes bulging at the thought of her best friend keeping this a secret from her, but not Jay Hogart.

"I kind of heard her"

"You mean?" Manny suddenly felt very sick to her stomach, thinking of the noises he had to endure coming from her 'perfect' best friend.

"Yeah, but she promised me she was over it"

"You just don't get over it like that Jay, it's a fucking disorder"

Jay just sat there, unsure of what to say, "Miss Orderly Nelson with a disorder… that's just fucked up"

"I can't even imagine why she let you in on it but not me! You probably laughed in her face"

"It wasn't like that Manny. Now can you stop making me out to be the bad guy always. Where do I pull in?" He said, asking her for directions to where he should park the civic in the hospital parking lot.

"Here"

-xxx-

"Spike!" Manny screamed while running up to Christine Nelson, Emma's mom,

Jay strolled a reasonable distance behind Manny, hospitals were not his place. Everything was so white, the opposite of … everything he owned, which was black. It smelled like antiseptics, bandages, and death. It felt cold, and dark. It was the liaison between life and death.

"Manny. I'm so glad you're here. Wait, you should be in school" Christine 'spike' Nelson said pulling her as-close-as-can-be-to-a-real-daughter into a huge hug.

"Em's my sister. I think this warrants a day off. Can I go see her?"

"Sure go right in" Archie "Snake" Simpson assured her, putting his hands on his wife's shoulder.

-xxx-

Walking gently into Emma's hospital room, Manny nearly gasped at the site. Emma was hooked up to all these machines monitoring her functions, she had on the typical hospital gown and for once in her life, and she looked like death. Her once vivacious blonde hair seemed to fall limp around her pale face. Her hand, which was wired to the machine, was so tiny, and limp. All the weight loss made her face appear gaunt and thin.

"Emma, do you know how weird it is to see you here? I mean, you were always the strong one. You faced everything, and you always took it so well. You stood up and proved your point, always. Hell! You even started a petition to install tampon dispensers in the bathroom when you got your period, which you announced to the whole English class. And you, you Emma, were the one that was able to state her views, regardless of what others thought. So how did it come to this? Me, sitting here while you're hooked up to machines. This isn't right, this isn't. I was the weak one. I could never face the facts. I was the one that continued to hook up with Craig when I knew he didn't love me like he loved Ashley. I was the one that got drunk and had your ex boyfriend videotape me naked for the whole school to see. I came to you for everything. And now you're in that bed, unconscious"

Manny had to stop her rant in order to wipe all the tears that were appearing away.

"Em, you have to stop. You have to stop or you're gonna die. You can't do that to me"

"No one's gonna die, okay? I'm gonna try to beat this Manny. I'm gonna try to beat this", Emma whispered.

Manny just looked at her best friend and hugged her, the two girls sobbing together.

-xxx-

"Hi, um, I'm Jay" Jay said, extending his hand to shake Spike's, "I'm so sorry to hear about Emma"

"What are you doing here, Jayson!" Snake gritted

"Listen Mr. Simpson, I know I'm the last person you want to see at a time like this, but Emma and I have become friends and I just want to make sure she's okay"

"Why would Emma become your friend, Jay" He asked, obviously not amused at seeing the resident delinquent within a mere 50 feet of his daughter.

"She's been helping me study for my G.E.D. exam" Jay started

Jay was interrupted by Spike who turned to her husband and looked him in the eye, "Excuse me? Can you please tell me what is so wrong with Jay being here for his friend? Snake, stop being so rude"

"This is Jay, Christine"

"I still don't understand", Spike whispered back, at a time like this how was she supposed to remember the names of people that weren't frequent visitors at the Simpson-Nelson house?

"The one who gave Emma the ST-"

"Mr. Simpson! I had no idea I was giving it to her. But can we please put that in the past, I admit I wasn't there for Emma the way she needed me to be, but right now I am" Jay cut him off, trying not to relive the memory, or the embarrassment he was soon to feel when her mother realized who he was.

"My daughter is in the hospital and you're arguing over the past? Hey! You remember in Terms of Endearment that scene where Shirley MacLaine is in the hospital and freaks out because they won't give her daughter a shot? She got that from me and she toned it down a little."

"Um, the next person can go in now" Manny said, walking up to a hysterical spike, a pissed off Snake, and a timid, yes, timid, Jay Hogart.

-xxx-

**She's lost in coma where it's beautiful**

**Intoxicated from the deep sleep, deep sleep.**

**Do you wonder what it's like, **

**Living in a permanent imagination?**

**Sleeping to escape reality, but you like it like that.**

**Guilty by design**

**She's nothing more than fiction.**

**She dreams in digital**

**'Cause its better than nothing,**

**Now that control is gone**

**It seems unreal**

**She's dreaming in digital**

**She dreams in digital.  
**


	15. I Am For You, Walking Wounded

**AN: Songs used: I am for you by Waking Ashland and Walking Wounded by the Tea Party

* * *

**  
Jay walked into Emma's room. _Manny is right, she doesn't look at all like herself. She's super white, and I don't mean like Oh, you live in Canada white, I mean ghost white. Her hair is knotted and she looks like the plague hit her. But yet, I can't help but notice her as more than a friend, despite her current state. It's the first time that I can actually look at a chick and having any feelings despite lust. What is this girl doing to me?_

"Jay? Is that you?"_ She whispers, and I swear, I want to hold her. Look at me, whipped by a girl I'm not even dating. How pathetic._

"Yeah, Em, it's me" _I say, as I walk closer to her._

"You didn't have to come and visit me, I'm sure you had better things to do"

_Typical Nelson, thinking of others before herself despite the fact that she's hooked up to more machines than a lab rat. _

"Sprout," Jay begins, "Where did you go? Who replaced you? I know you're not the type of girl to get caught up in her looks and her weight. Your Emma fucking Nelson, girl who will take on the whole world"

"Jay.." _ She breathes, and I can tell its causing her pain just to talk._

"Stop talking, I'll never get the chance to shut you up again, so stay quiet" _I say, trying to get her to stop fighting herself and me. _"Just a little Hogart humor" _She smiles weakly at that, and I can tell something's wrong. Emma Nelson lost her spark, the do-it-yourself attitude. She has that same look on her face as she did in the ravine, the look that screams 'I can't do this all alone, help'. Emma needs someone there to help her through all this, and I'm not ashamed to be that person._

"I just wanted to give you a heads up, because now that I'm by your side, I'm never leaving. I'm like a shit stain in some nice clean underwear" _what the fuck am I saying?_ "You can try and try to wash it out, but I'm there, forever"

"Anyway, I wish I knew what to say in this kind of situation, but I'm not that smart, as you know" _She attempts to say something but I take my finger and place it over her mouth, she giggles and writes down on a piece of paper, hands shaking: Yes, you are._

"Emma, you're so strong. I can't even imagine how you could end up in this place"

"I'm not that strong", she whispers back to me.

"You don't always have to be" I whisper, brushing the hair out of her face, "Goldilocks"

**Something's very wrong here**

**Your heart has frozen over.**

**And something's very strange here,**

**You've lost all desire**

**The comfort we create to prove we're something,**

**But we're starving.**

**Screaming in the night 'cause you want answers, from the one**

**And there is hope again.**

**Don't give up, you're not thinking.**

**Don't give up, just keep seeking.**

**And I, I am for you.**

**And I, I will love you.**

**And I, I am for you.**

**And I, I will save you.  
**

-xxx-

_Manny just left my room. How could I do this to everyone? The look on her face was so painful. My own best friend, crying because she thinks I'm dying. Am I dying? Is this what it is like to die? Because, I don't think losing control over my eating will lead me to death. I gave up food for like a week, I'm not going to die. I'm just going to get skinny. I'm not going to be Mary Kate Olsen for gods sake. The way everyone is acting, who knows? I wish he was here so I could talk to him, he'd understand. He'd listen. _

_I hear the sound of faint footsteps, as I slowly look up expecting it to be my mom or Snake, instead it's him._

"Jay is that you"_ I try to say, but instead it just comes out as a whisper. He looks so upset, his brown hair hidden under that delicious hat of his, His blue eyes piercing through me, with concern and care. _

"Yeah, Em, it's me" He says. _He starts to walk closer to me, don't you understand, Jay? I need you as close as humanly possible? Oh my god, I'm in the hospital and I'm having sex thoughts about Jay?_

_To stop myself from any x-rated thoughts about Jay, I tell him, _"You didn't have to come and visit me, I'm sure you had better things to do"_. _

"Sprout" _He says, I love these nicknames he has for me. It must be all the medicine making me dopey because I swear if he said Greenpeace in that caring voice of his, I'd probably have an orgasm right here, right now. _"Where did you go? Who replaced you?" _No one replaced me, it's the same Nelson._ "I know you're not the type of girl to get caught up in her looks and her weight" _How would you know? Just because you've made fun of them since you've known me, doesn't mean it didn't bother me. _"You're Emma fucking Nelson, girl who will take on the whole world"

"Jay" I try to choke out, but this pain is too unbearable.

"Stop talking" _how does he know all the answers? _"I'll never get the chance to shut you up again, so stay quiet" _he smirks, that devilish smirk I can't get enough of. _"Just a little Hogart humor. I just wanted to give you a heads up, because now that I'm by your side, I'm never leaving." _You're by my side? What? Is this one of those weird hospital dreams, because if it is, please don't wake me up. _"I'm like a shit stain in some nice clean underwear. You can try and try to wash it out, but I'm there forever" _No, this isn't a dream, I'm not that creative and that is definitely all Jay. _

"Emma you're so strong. I can't even imagine how you could end up in this place" _Those words, they're too much for me. I'm strong? You don't even know how weak I am._

"I'm not that strong" I whisper to him, _he needs to know, I'm losing it._

"You don't always have to be" _How does he know just what to say? He's my own personal rocket to the moon.3 .2. 1._

'Goldilocks" _Blastoff! _

**Is it safe to look within,**

**And to erase all that's been.**

**And all that's been between,**

**Is it gone, tell me what went wrong.**

**'Cause baby, I'm not that strong.**

**And I'm walking wounded.  
**


	16. Lips Like Morphine

-xxx-

Emma had returned from the hospital a little over a week ago.

_Everything is fine now. I don't get why I can't go to school, or why I can't be left alone for like 5 minutes. It's ridiculous, they're actually having Manny monitor me in the bathroom by standing outside the door to make sure I don't puke. One day I left the water on while I was searching for my toothbrush and they all busted in like I was trying to cover up the sound of vomit, absolutely ridiculous._

"Emma honey, I have to go to work today, but if you need anything, please call me, or Archie. We're just a little while away. And try to eat today, I know the doctor said that you won't be eating much at first, but please try, for me" Christine Nelson said to her daughter, a wave of concern washing over her face.

"Okay, Mom. But seriously, I could have gone to school, you know." Emma sighed. She hated missing school when it wasn't necessary. All that make up work and confusion the next day just didn't seem worth it to her.

As soon as her mom left, Emma crawled into bed in her camisole and boxer shorts. She heard the door creak open, but ignored it, figuring it was her mother forgetting her keys or something.

She heard a lot of commotion coming from the kitchen, nothing too sketchy though, just cabinet doors opening and shutting, a familiar noise when her mother cooked, when being the keyword. It's not like you could blame Spike, the salon was really taking off.

_Shit! I totally forgot about Jay. His exam is coming up soon and he needs my help! _

Emma, not thinking clearly, ran up the stairs and called out "Mom, I need to go to the library it's really important"

"Get your cute butt downstairs" she heard Jay reply while smirking.

"Jay? Wh-What are you doing here?" Emma asked, highly confused.

Jay just grabbed the peanut butter and jelly sandwich he had made for Emma and lightly bumped her out of the way, walking downstairs and sitting on her bed.

"Is that for me?" She asked, her eyes lighting up. _Did Jay Hogart really just come into my kitchen and make me a sandwich?_

Jay smirked, "Yeah, it's one of my fool-proof recipes"

"I am eating again Jay. You don't need to feed me" Emma replied, _although I do like this._

"Like I trust you, Princess" Jay laughed, while grabbing half of her sandwich.

"Hey! You can't steal from the recovering anorexic! Do you want me to relapse" Emma said laughing and pushing Jay's shoulder.

Jay just looked at her and smirked, "So that's how it's gonna be Nelson?" and tickled her.

Jay had Emma pinned down tickling her sides while she laughed a carefree beautiful laugh. Jay stopped tickling her and looked her straight in the eyes, the second he saw the sign of approval he bent down and kissed her, a passionate kiss.

The fireworks were off. Oxygen because less important, as each other became a necessity. Emma had never felt a kiss throughout her body as much as she did when she kissed Jay, it was like a drug, Euphoria for her body. Jay, used to sloppy drunk kisses, was enjoying it as much as Emma was.

"Emma, honey. The salon was slow today so I came home to take care of you" Spike called down the stairs.

All of the sudden the look of pleasure turned to a look of worry.

"You have to get out of here!" Emma screamed at Jay, expecting him to jump out the window and hide. Instead, he simply got off her bed and walked towards her mother.

"Hello again, I hope my presence didn't throw you off too much, but as you know, your daughter has been helping me study and I needed some last minute tips. So I came here to ask for some help, although I really had the motive of checking up on her. Anyway, my free period is ending soon, I must be off. Nice seeing you again" Jay said while walking out of the room.

"What a good kid. I like him much better than that weasel Peter" Christine told Emma.

"Me too" Emma said, "me too".

**I want a girl with lips like morphine,**

**Knock me out every time they touch me.**

**I want to feel a kiss just crush me, **

**And break me down.**

**Knock me out,**

**Knock me out.**

**'Cause I've waited for all my life,**

**To be here with you tonight.**

**I want a girl with lips like morphine,**

**Blow a kiss that leaves me gasping.**

**And I wanna feel that lightning strike me,**

**And burn me down.**

**Knock me out,**

**Knock me out.**

**'Cause I've waited for all my life,**

**to be here with you tonight.**

**  
Just put me on my back,**

**Knock me out again.  
**


	17. All The Small Things

"Emma, why are you pacing?" Manny asked her nervous best friend.

"Jay has his exam today, Manny. This determines his future" Emma sighed, receiving a look of disbelief from her best friend, "What?"

Manny just shook her head and closed her locker door, "for someone that doesn't have a thing for Jay Hogart, you sure are acting like you do"

Emma grabbed her geometry book and followed along, "Manny, I don't have a thing for him, besides if I did, it's not like he'd ever return the feeling. Second of all, I'm just worried that all the time I spent will go to waste. Besides, why can't I hope Jay does well on his exam?"

"It's one thing to worry, but it's another to make a frickin' card for the kid"

Emma blushed a crimson red, _so what? I think he deserves a card wishing him luck after all the hard work he spent studying. _

"And, why does Spike keep mentioning him?" Manny asked, confused as to why her second-mother rambled on about how nice of a guy Jay was.

"Like I know Manny" Emma sharply replied, _I guess Jay has the ability to stick in more head's than just mine. That kiss yesterday… wow._

-xxx-

"Yo! Alex, I need another pencil" Jay called out to his former girlfriend.

"You're taking one of the biggest exams of your life and you don't even have a pencil? Wow, you're bound to ace it" Alex rolled her eyes getting out another pencil to add to Jay's collection. "Why are you even at school?"

"I need to see someone" He shrugged, walking down the halls, searching for his tutor. When he passed his locker he noticed something sticking out of it. He read it slowly,

'Jay,

Good luck with your exam,

Not like you need it.

Call me when you're done

Emma.'

"I know, that's kind of stupid" Emma whispered in his ear.

Jay turned around quickly and looked her in the eyes, "No, it's… cool. I just came here to say thanks for everything, Em. I mean it, if it wasn't for you, I'd fail. So, thanks"

"I don't deserve any credit, Hogart. You're really smart, once you actually give a shit" She said, batting her eyes.

"Well, I gotta go. I'll make sure to call you when it's over" Jay said, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek and running out the door.

-xxx-

Emma made it through the school day, very slowly. She was excited to hear from Jay. Whatever this thing they had going was, it was becoming serious, at least to her. She grabbed her books and walked down the halls of her school.

"Em!" She heard, and turned around to see none other than…

Peter.

"What do you want?" Emma bit back, _figures, Peter's here to ruin my good mood._

"To give you a ride home, come on, a pretty girl like yourself shouldn't be walking home all alone" Peter said, grinning that evil grin of his.

"I'll pass"

"Listen, Em" Peter said, starting to raise his voice, "Why don't you stop your self-righteous crap for two seconds and admit you want me. Now come on"

"Get the fuck away from her, pretty boy" Jay called to him, stopping his car and getting out.

"Jay" Emma sighed.

"So it is true? Emma just couldn't get enough, no. She had to be a slut and return to you"

"Listen, Peter," Jay mimicked him, "You call her a slut one more time and you're going to die. I don't care if you go and tell mommy. Hell, go and tell the cops. But, if you so much as look at Emma again, I'm going to tear you a new asshole"

"Screw this" Peter said, walking away in defeat.

"Thank you" Emma said, as she got into the civic, "But don't ruin your future over me"

"Thanks to you I don't even need Degrassi anymore! You should have seen me on that test, I finished earlier than anyone else. It was so easy!" Jay exclaimed.

Emma couldn't help but smile at the grin plastered across his face, the way his eyes lit up as he talked about his test. And how sexy he looked as he drove his car.

"So, I was thinking… There's a concert tonight, and I want to take you to it" Jay proclaimed.

Emma looked him in the eyes, "Jay, you don't have to"

"I know. I want to. Pick you up at 7?"

"Okay" Emma giggled, as she got out of his car, "sounds great"

**All the Small Things**

**True care, Truth brings**

**I'll take one lift,**

**Your ride, Best trip**

**Always, I know**

**You'll be at my show**

**Watching, Waiting, Commiserating**

**Say it ain't so, I will not go**

**Turn the lights off, carry me home, **

**Late night, come home**

**Work sucks, I know**

**She left me roses by the stairs,**

**Surprises let me know she cares **

**Say it ain't so, I will not go**

**Turn the lights off, Carry me home**

**Keep your head still, I'll be your thrill**

**The night will go on..  
**


	18. First Date

20. First Date

It was 7:00, Friday Night, the night of Jay and Emma's "date" or whatever you call it, not quite sure.

Jay Hogart sat in his Civic, he was extremely nervous to pick up Emma for their date. For some reason, this chick was really getting to him. He never felt self-concious around any chick, ever. Even when he was dating Alex, he never was nervous around her. Alex was a low-maintenance chick, hand her a beer and she'd be happy. The girls in the ravine usually came to him, so he had no reason to impress any of them. But Emma, she was different. A good kind of different.

-xxx-

Emma stood in front of her mirror trying on what seemed to be her 10 millionth outfit. She couldn't decide what to wear on her first date with Jay. She never put _this_ much effort into any other date. Not with Chris, not with Peter, and certainly not with Chester. Finally she decided on a black mini skirt, a black band t, and gold leggings. She had her hair curled loosely and threw on a pair of converse.

-Xxx-

Jay walked up to the door and knocked, another first for him. He usually waited in his car and honked until his date would come running out, and he'd speed away as her parents gave him a dirty look. But here he was, waiting inside the living room talking to Emma's parents.

"Jason, Where do you plan on going tonight?" Mr. Simpson, his Media Immersion teacher asked.

"A concert, sir. We won't be out too late"

"I want Emma back by 11" Mr. Simpson glared

"Oh, let them have some fun, Archie. I'm sure Emma will fine. She's a smart girl" Spike interrupted her husband.

"It's not her I'm worried about"

"Dad!" Emma shrieked while running towards Jay, "I'm so sorry. Come on let's go"

Jay was too stunned to say anything. Emma looked incredible. She was wearing a black skirt and a shirt but the gold tight things she had on made her look like a superhero.

"You look great" Jay said, as they walked to his car.

"Thanks" Emma smiled, her genuine smile.

Jay just ran his hand through his hair before putting his signature hat back on.

-xxx-

When they reached the club, Jay put his arm on Emma's back. They cut ahead through the line, to which Emma just looked at Jay.

"Don't worry. I have connections" Jay laughed, as he walked her to the front.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Jay, how are ya man?" The bouncer said

"Pretty good, Mike. This is Emma" He said, introducing his date,

Mike took Emma's hand and kissed it, "What is a pretty little thing like you doing with trash like Hoagie"

"Awh, Jay isn't that bad" Emma giggled, while Jay protectively pulled her closer to him.

"Go Right in" Mike said, but before Emma walked away he whispered in her ear "If you want to get with a real man, find me later. I can go all night"

Emma shivered and looked towards Jay, who just gave Mike a look that said 'Back the fuck off'

"Sorry about him, he's kind of an asshole, but at least I don't have to wait in lines"

Emma just shrugged and grabbed Jay's hand, bringing him closer to the stage.

"I'm really glad you asked me out, Jay" Emma whispered, looking at him.

Jay didn't want the night to end, "I'm glad you came"

They both looked at each other, just taking in the others details. The intensity of Jay's blue eyes, the darkness of Emma's chocolate brown eyes, the shagginess of Jay's hair, and the bounciness of Emma's golden curls, it was too much for them to take.

Emma grabbed Jay and kissed him, not caring who could see, just wanting to be with him.

"I'm so glad you're here" Jay whispered into Emma's ear, playing with her blond curl. All eyes were on them. Emma was the girl all girls wanted to be, and all guys wanted to be with. And Jay was the guy all the girls wanted to fuck, and all the guys wanted to fight. They were a match made in… well, somewhere other than heaven? They clashed, absolutely, but at the same time, they fit so well.

"Jay, why me?" Emma asked, looking him in the eyes, something she always seemed to do when they talk.

Jay groaned and ran his hand over his face, "Come on Emma. You know you mean a lot to me, and you know I suck at talking"

"Not true. You're able to charm the panties off of girls and trick their parents as well" Emma laughed, moving closer to him.

"Because, you're different. There's a fire inside of you, I guess. Can we not do this here? It's kind of a concert"

"sorry" Emma said, while looping her arms around his broad shoulders. "I'd choose you over anyone", she whispered so faintly he could barley here.

Instead of acknowledging it by reciting all those cheesy lines like one of Emma's exes would do, Jay just grabbed her and kissed her, a kiss that made everyone in the crowd jealous.

The opening band came on stage, and even though they both tried really, really hard to pay attention, they couldn't help but stare back at their date.

Emma danced in the crowd, letting loose of all her inhibitions, and had a truly good time.

"This one goes to the pretty girl in the front row" The lead singer announced while winking at Emma, before singing some song.

Jay rolled his eyes, _What is it about lead singers? They think they can just flash a cheesy smile and play some bullshit song about love and flowers or whatever the fuck they sing about. Here I am, jealous. Jealous over some Craig manning-wanna-be, what the fuck does this girl do to me. _

Emma looked over at Jay's pouty face and kissed him sincerely, "Don't worry," she said, laughing.

While the band was switching set's Jay's friends walked through the crowd and saw him. _Fuck_, was all Jay could think, knowing that these were not the type of friends that Emma would like.

**In the car, I just can't wait**

**To pick you up for our very first date**

**Is it cool if I hold your hand?**

**Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?**

**Do you like my stupid hair?**

**Could you guess that I didn't know what to wear?**

**I'm just scared of what you think**

**You make me nervous so I really can't eat.**

**Let's go**

**Don't wait**

**This night's almost over**

**Honest, let's make, this night last forever**

**Forever and ever,**

**Let's make this last forever.**

**When you smile, I melt inside**

**I'm not worthy for a minute of your time**

**I really wish it was only me and you**

**I'm jealous of everybody in the room**

**Please don't look at me with those eyes,**

**Please don't hint that you're capable of lies.**

**I dread the thought of our very first kiss,**

**A target that I'm probably gonna miss.  
**


End file.
